Watch an Amateur Attempt Spaghetti and Meatballs with a Professional Chef

(fun drum beats and hand clapping)

(sonic echoes)

All right are you ready to do this?

I'm ready to cook some stuff.

How are your skills in the kitchen?

I'm really good at cooking soup.

Cooking soup, cool. Yeah.

So like, you're talking like garlic

and onions sweating it out,

potatoes-- No, no, like out of a can.

Out of a can? Yeah.

So you're really good at heating up soup?

Yeah, but I use a, I use a, I cook it on the stove.

So, Okay.

it's actually kind of cooking.

One step above the microwave, okay.

How do you feel about spaghetti and meatballs?

Uh...

It's great, I like it.

All right, that's what we're gonna do today.

Oh, sweet!

(easy synthesizer and drum beats)

First thing we're gonna do is get the sauce going

'cause that needs some time to cook.

And go ahead and get that pot heating up.

Put it on a nice low flame.

Great, now grab some garlic.

Garlic.

We're gonna keep this easy to start.

Right just whole garlic cloves.

Yeah, so all you got to do is separate the cloves--

Do I smash it down with the knife style?

Smash it down, that's a technical term,

smash it down with the knife style.

I've watched some cooking shows before.

All right (laughs)

Okay I got four garlic cloves in the

pot cooking right now on low heat.

Yes, four garlic cloves. Yeah, sweet.

They're doing a little bubble

little sizzle thing in there?

Yeah, they're sazzling.

They're doing what?

They're sazzling. (chuckles)

Sazzle (chuckles) okay.

Mine are sizzling over here.

I'm not quite sure what yours

are up to. Tomato, tomatoes,

potatoes, potatoes.

(metal scrapes)

All right, we're in the same spot then, okay great.

So garlic and then we've got just the big

pile of tomatoes.

Throw in a pinch of red pepper flakes.

That's like what I put on pizza.

And then a little bit of oregano.

The bigger ones are bay leaves.

Okay, I don't want to use those.

You do, actually, we're gonna throw two of those

in with your tomatoes, too.

Do put them in there now?

So red pepper flakes, oregano, bay leaf,

you with me?

Okay two bay leaves, Yeah.

this is oregano.

That's oregano. Just like a pinch?

Yeah. Okay.

Now I'm gonna dump the tomatoes and all the spices

right into the pot.

What?

So all the tomatoes?

[James] The whole thing.

Wow. Yup.

[James] And then take your spoon

start mashing up those tomatoes a little bit.

All right. Go ahead,

give it just a little pinch of salt and

a small pinch of black pepper.

Can I put the wooden spoon back

in the little thing with water in it or is that gross?

No, as long as it only had tomato on it.

Okay. You know.

You're not like scratching your back

with it or anything No.

[James] over there are you?

I don't think so.

(easy synthesizer and drum beats)

So you're make a big hole right

in the middle of that flour, right big pile?

Yup. Like a giant, wide volcano.

And you got three eggs? Yup.

[James] You're gonna crack the eggs right into

that big hole that you just made, right.

Okay hold on.

Okay.

Now grab that fork right in front of you

and start-- La, la, la, la, la.

My volcano's erupting.

I don't think I made the hole big enough.

Three eggs right into the middle

of that volcano.

Right you see a little bit of flour

every time you go around a little flour

pulls into the eggs in the center.

Ah-Hah. Is that happening?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Good.

(easy synthesizer and drum beats)

[James] Sauce is still okay?

Sauce is killing it!

So we got veal, pork and beef.

Whoa, cause to me it looks like

hamburger, hamburger, hamburger.

So what I want you to do is just take those breadcrumbs

and pour in just enough milk to make them

a little squishy, but I don't want them

sitting in a bunch of milk, okay?

So just kind eyeball it?

Yeah just, you know.

They should be squishy.

It's like I'm making cereal!

I know how to do this!

Back to the meat. Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Little bit of fennel seed.

Ah, fennel seed.

Red pepper flake, salt.

Pepper. Salt, pepper got it.

[James] And then a nice pinch of oregano

into those meatballs as well.

[Mark] Got it, check, check, check.

I want you to crack your other three eggs

[Mark] Awesome.

into the bowl. Sweet.

[James] No shells, yeah?

[Mark] No shells.

All right, take those eggs, grab the other fork there

and just whisk them up a little bit.

Oh, so we're mixing all the meat together.

(metal scraping)

What? All the--

No, eggs. Oh, I put it in, oh.

[Mark] The bowl that the eggs were in.

[Mark] Sorry I put it in the meat.

All of them?

[Mark] (laughs) Yeah.

All three? I'm sorry.

All right, so now we're gonna get

some Parmesan in there.

Give me about a cup of grated Parmesan

right in the bowl on top of the meat

and your eggs.

And then you've got some parsley over there, yup?

Aaah, yes.

Okay so grab those parsley leaves

and we're gonna chop, we're chopping now.

[Mark] That's good I use the chopping knife, right?

[James] This, yeah, the chef's knife.

[Mark] Yes.

I call it that.

It's just a funny name The chef's--

I have for it.

Ah!

Okay. Okay.

Chopping parsley right?

You just take all those parsley leaves

ball them up into a little ball,

hold it tight and then just roll

the knife right through them.

This is so hard with the gloves on.

Nice small pieces, right.

We don't want big chunks of parsley

hanging out of our meatballs.

Yes, like almost you can't even see them

they're so small. Wow, all right.

Four garlic cloves now.

These we've gotta chop.

Okay we gotta do a nice fine mince on the garlic.

Otherwise you got big chunks of garlic

in the middle of your meatball

and nobody likes that. Okay.

Okay so those beautiful like, barely even

see them pieces just like, exactly like you

did your parsley, allegedly.

Wait are you calling me a liar?

No, not at all.

Those breadcrumbs are what's gonna help

kind of hold those together nicely.

They're gonna keep it really nice and moist.

Okay so just throw those in on top of the--

And then, I mean it's up to you.

But roughly like golf ball, ping pong ball size meatballs.

How do you usually make your meatballs?

Ah, I usually make them at a restaurant

when I order them.

(easy synthesizer and drum beats)

So I'm gonna take my pasta dough.

Ah-Huh.

I'm gonna cut that little ball of dough in half.

Take that and crank it right through the machine.

All right it should pass through nice and smooth,

let it drop through, pull it out the other side.

Push the two ends together.

And then we're cranking through once again.

So half again lengthwise.

[James] Yeah. (chuckles)

And coming through one more time.

Now tell, are you done, are you there?

Oh no.

So half again lengthwise.

[James] Yeah.

And coming through one more time.

Just half lengthwise and send it through.

Coming through! Coming through.

Coming through everybody.

Yes!

Yes?

So this is pasta.

What you want to do now.

Hold it up in front of you take a look.

How does it look?

Like nice, really long rectangle, straight sides,

fairly straight at the bottom?

Actually, yeah. Yeah?

Looks like parchment paper.

Oh.

Parchment paper?

Is that?

Okay I mean it looks like pasta.

All right.

So lay the pasta on the cutting board,

sprinkle it with flour, fold it in half

and then fold them in half again.

We're gonna start slicing really thin with the knife.

Like how thin, like a quarter of an inch?

So you want that, you know, similar to the thickness

of a little spaghetti or linguine okay.

But make sure you pick them up and they

come apart into the noodles.

Oh!

It's like a noodle!

[James] Is that happening?

Yeah it's like a little worm.

That's...

Or a noodle?

Yeah, like a noodle. All right.

(easy going synthesizer notes)

Load up that pan, right.

Kind of like getting on the subway.

You want to fit in as much as you can in the pan

but you really don't want to have

to touch anything while you're in there.

Do I got to man spread?

Try not to, okay?

Now as soon as those meatballs get brown

I want you to flip them over, right?

They can't flip over, Ah-huh.

[James] they feel like their sticking a little bit?

Yeah. Then they're not ready yet.

Come on guys.

So once the meatballs are really well brown

kind of all around, if you see

that they need to kind of get up on the side a little bit,

go ahead and turn them up on the side there.

So I have a question for you James.

What am I doing with the pasta sauce,

the one that's not cooking?

So that's gonna be for finishing the pasta in.

Okay. Right?

[James] Whenever we cook pasta you always want

to finish it off in some sauce.

Okay. Right.

And it won't really work to throw it

in that big pan with the meatballs.

Yeah, my meatballs are looking good.

[James] They're looking good?

I mean I don't think they're gonna

be as pretty as yours, but

I think it's gonna work.

Water's boiling, right?

Water's boiling.

You got salt in it?

Oh yeah, I salted that.

Put in your pasta. Uh-huh.

Kind of let it fall through your fingers right,

'cause you don't want big clumps in there.

Oh, yeah.

It's like cooking lobster.

Both require a pot of boiling water.

All right I'll give you that one.

No, I mean it's just like boiling a live animal.

Oh.

Although these aren't live.

Okay, never mind, it was a bad metaphor.

So got probably another two minutes on the pasta.

My meat

balls in the pasta sauce look great.

There's only one to tell when it's done.

Uh-Huh.

Pull a piece out and taste it.

Oh.

Remember I want it to cook that last

little bit right in my sauce.

We're gonna just jump this pasta

straight into the sauce 'cause I want

some of that pasta water to come along with it.

All right that nice, starchy, salty water

helps that sauce hold onto the pasta really well.

Well how much, I have a lot of water in here.

No, no, no, no, don't,

just a little, a little.

[Mark] Oh just a little bit okay.

[James] Like a cup maximum.

Okay so that's got about, what'd you say,

like a minute in there?

Yeah, I'm done.

We should be off. Okay.

Don't let it get mushy.

Oh, it's not gonna

[James] get mushy. All right all this

hard work and this beautiful fresh pasta we made.

(easy synthesizer and drum beats)

[James] I can't believe how little ingredients

are in pasta.

All right so you're good right?

It's on the plate, we're ready to roll?

So Mark you ready to go over there?

Yeah I think so.

Yeah.

Two most important parts

of serving a great dish.

Ah-Ha.

One, presentation how does it look?

I mean it looks uh...

I had to change a couple things up.

Had to call an audible.

You have pasta and meatballs though, yeah?

Yeah, I mean yeah.

It's definitely pasta and meatballs.

All right.

Now the most important part

let's grab a fork and dig in here.

All right. I'm going to pasta first?

Yeah, pasta first.

All right hold on.

Just the right little bit

of chew on that pasta.

Beautiful fresh tomato sauce, like that basil

at the end really sets it off.

Now let me crack into one of these meatballs here.

Oh wow.

All right Mark so I'm coming over to take a look.

Are you ah, you're sure you're ready for it?

I, I, are you ready?

I just, yeah, just be ready.

Don't faint or anything.

(James laughs)

Okay.

I had a little problem with the meatballs.

There's a meatball there.

Yeah. Yeah.

The other ones, they kind of fell apart,

so I improvised and made I think a,

the Italian term is Bolognese.

Bolognese, yeah. Yeah, Bolognese.

That's kind of the idea of the meat sauce

with a, yeah?

So yeah, so.

Maybe we got a little off track there.

But hey listen, when stuff happens.

You got to roll with it. Still gonna make good food.

You're gonna roll with it. Yeah.

You know sometimes you just gotta roll

with what comes at you.

When life gives you meatballs you make Bolognese.

(James chuckles)

Right?

(light acoustic guitar music)